Upon waking fully, nervously aware the whole night, I marvel at this dis-ease of mine: this irritation in my pelvis, subtle flickers ranging from terror to anxiety to anger and the usual restlessness - I cannot calm myself. I try deep breaths, I feel the energy flow out through my hands and feet, I try to lie perfectly still - but inside, no matter how still I lie, a tornado winds its wild way through my gut. Does fear need a reason? What am I so afraid of ? more